It’s self-indulgent blogging time! Self-indulgent blogging time! (wayyee at wayyeeat)

Title – sung to the tune of Peanut-Butter Jelly Time. Because I was on the internet one day in the early 2000’s.

Also, I watched that episode of Family Guy today. Which it just dawned on me… the term “rerun” is becoming obsolete I think. God. 25 is a weird year.

But anyway. I recently asked for tips on how to improve this dumbass blog.

Nobody had any answers. Probably because no one reads this. Probably because I keep trying to write news based on written news that I dug up after trolling the internet for so long my brain is fried before I put fingers to keys to even figure out my own thoughts about the information I have just ingested.

Instead of taking time to think and feel, I regurgitate copy just for the sake of having written something. Just spit it back out for the sake of speed, because I’m lazy. Also, for the sake of feeling smart and hoping I can convince the rest of the world of it., but lack the life experience and research and time to do anything other than rip off the info someone else took the time and energy to put together. Plus, it’s an awfully nice way to avoid having a REAL opinion that someone might (god forbid) disagree with or (god… even more.. forbid) correct me on.

But anyway, maybe if I have a couple glasses of wine I’ll start to think my thoughts are worth sharing. I’m probably wrong. fuck it. That’s what booze was invented for, right? Making decisions you know are bad so much easier to put into action?

Shit, already at 300 words and I haven’t said a goddamn thing.

Fuck it. (oh cool already on my second ‘fuck it,’ things must be goin’ real well.)Haven’t used my interview skills in a while.  Let’s see if we can practice two skills in one go.

Steph’s 5-W question period

Q: Who Are You?

A: Stephanie. 25. Caucasian. Sexual identity: ambiguous. Good paying but unfulfilling desk job that’s so close to being the profession she wanted that it’s a cruel funhouse mirror that shows her what she wanted to be when she grew up but makes it also look about a zillion miles away.

Q:  What do you want?

A: I want to witness humanity and bring a level of insight to a  discourse that actually means something and could potentially help people. Help create a better, more understanding future. Make a legacy. Make a difference. Speak truth to power. Experience the pulsing, beautiful mess that is the human race and see how the human experience is translated across cultural and physical borders and boundaries. All those clichés and more.

Q: Where are you in relation to that?

A: Not close. Not far. Infuriatingly lodged in the middle. (lower end of purgatory.)

Q: When are you going to get around to fixing that?

A: I guess when I stop focusing on the fantasy and romantic adventure of it all and start planning out practical options and solutions. When I learn to parse my own bullshit to find the nugget of truth that is what I really want that’s wrapped in the bullshit of the reasons I create for myself to justify what I want because in my brain, what I want isn’t good enough. There has to be something MORE to it than that. Or maybe it’s when I stop putting my petty desires for the comfort of the present above the potentially more satisfying future.

Q: How the fuck do you think you’ll do  that?

A: No comment.

 

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