Heads up, that’s not me… but her video hit me. HARD. Here’s a link to the original posting.
And that’s part of why I’m writing this clarification for my post yesterday.
The last paragraph kind of ran away on me, but at the same time it didn’t really run far enough. Didn’t really want that post to be about me and tried to bury my little “coming out” moment at the bottom. But surprise… that’s all I’m hearing about today. And now I’m feeling like I’ve been dishonest and cowardly. Because my mental illness is not what I latched on to when I heard about the Pulse shooting, and the attempted PRIDE attack in LA. It was my queerness that drew me into an outrage and sadness.
Sure, listening to all these mass shooters being haphazardly called schizophrenic, bi-polar, crazy, insane by news anchors and journalists with little to no medical basis makes me fucking livid. But, that’s nothing new. I’ve been listening to that shit my whole life. Welcome to the 21st century where the only time we talk about the mentally unbalanced is when it’s too late and every magazine and news source pumps out study after study about physical health and nothing about mental well being.
What’s new, is that LGBTQ people are being denied bathroom rights, being shot up in clubs and being used by politicians as scapegoats to pass ridiculous bills and distract the public from important issues that actually deserve to be looked into and discussed.
Anyway… right. I’m bi, and I hate saying it. Honestly, I do. For a lot of the reasons listed in the video above. But also because there are specific people in my life who are really homophobic and here’s hoping they don’t read this shit, but whatever if I’m going to be getting praise for being “brave” for coming out as mentally ill, I can’t in good conscience not come clean about this. This, which arguably is more socially acceptable these days than my fucked up brain is.
Also, I want to be clear. I’m not coming out because I need support. I never had much of it when it comes to these two parts of my life and I’m standing tall.
To the literally TWO people in my life who have always been there for me (and I hope to god you know who you are) Thank you. Thank you every day I get out of bed. Thank you for the countless tears you’ve dried and all the times you’ve talked me down.
In some cases literally.
I don’t need your support world, I’ve got my own. But there are SO MANY people who do need it. Please, please, please don’t text me compliments. Instead get on google and educate yourself.
Pledge donations to a good cause.
Call that friend or family member who’s been going through a hard time. It’s not always fun being there for people, but they will thank you for it.
I know I do.